Eyes Wide Open

A Perspective From Within


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Pay(Pal) it forward

It’s been months since I’ve posted anything. Between my mother passing away and trying to deal with everything else in my life, my post would have most definitely been a Debbie downer. I finally have something positive to write about, and it’s really not about me.

My cousin Joani is celebrating a big birthday soon. She’ll be turning 60—so hard to believe. Joani recently phoned me to propose an amazing idea—rather than having a big birthday bash for herself, she’s decided to do a “charity boot camp”. Joani has been known to always be the cousin who “marches to the beat of a different drummer”, so breaking a major sweat and painfully elevating her heart rate far past the “zone” seems like a perfect birthday gift to herself. I still prefer the kind of gifts that you can open, but that’s me. Joani wants to donate the money raised at the bootcamp to a charity or non-profit that helps people with spinal cord injury, and also wants to make the donations in my name. I’m so honored that she would include me in her special and momentous day, and make it about helping others (and also getting into her skinny jeans). Joani expressed to me that she thinks often about what I have to endure on a daily basis just to do the simplest of things, and is thankful that her body is still physically healthy and able. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I wish I could get on a treadmill and run or do a crazy circuit in the gym. Those things that I complained about and dreaded pre-injury are just the things that I wish I could do again today, post-injury.

When Joani told me that she wanted to raise money for SCI, I knew right away where this money should go…to a non-profit called The Woody Foundation. I met the foundation’s namesake, Woody Beckham when I first started outpatient therapy at Miami Physical Therapy. Woody started out being a bit of an enigma to me. I’ll elaborate. When I first started inpatient PT at Jackson, I always wondered why, in the middle of an early 80’s looking physical and occupational therapy clinic, there was a sleek and modern Miele kitchen. It basically can be compared to seeing a Bentley parked under a carport of a double-wide trailer. It was really something that peaked my curiosity. I finally asked one of the therapists about my nagging Miele mystery.

Enter in: The Woody Foundation

She told me that the kitchen was donated by a guy named Woody who had a spinal cord injury in 2011 (about a year prior to my injury) who also attended Jackson inpatient rehab. She went on to say that Woody started a foundation that raises money for the recovery of people with SCI. The foundation also helps to raise awareness and lend financial support to local organizations helping to rehabilitate and cure paralysis. Concentrating on reaching out to the newly injured is a top priority of Woody and his foundation. I can tell you firsthand, Jackson Hospital did a horrible job in preparing me for what I had to deal with in the coming year. The social worker did nothing to help with my transition. I was basically given a Christopher Reeve’s Foundation book, and was told that it had a lot of valuable information in it for me. I wish that I had a foundation like Woody’s to better prepare me, because honestly, it’s pretty fucking scary. The Woody Foundation is the type of organization that makes a direct impact on people’s lives. There’s a lot of charitable organizations out there that seem to have a constant stream of big dollars going in, but you never really see where that money ends up. Woody’s foundation is what I consider “tangible help”. You can actually touch, feel and see the dollars at work. A perfect example of tangible help is “The Woody Pack”. It’s brilliant. He personally curated a collection of assistive devices for people with limited hand function, after dealing with his own personal challenges with adjusting to this new life. Quadriplegics most of the time have very limited or non-existent hand and wrist function, and Woody discovered various devices to help him regain his independence thus eliminating the need for help from others with simple life situations such as eating, drinking, using a cell phone, etc. Trust me, I hate being dependent on people. It makes me feel like a burden, and that’s the last thing that I want. Imagine how many times a day you use your hands to pick-up a phone, cup, pen, fork or ID. Individuals using devices in The Woody Pack can overcome these and other daily obstacles. Believe me…hands and fingers are not overrated (some days, I feel like I have dog paws). Woody’s goal with these packs is to share his experience of regaining independence with others so they too can have the joy of going about their day…on their own. The cost to put together each pack is around $200 (anything for the disabled is expensive) and Woody provides these packs free of charge to people who can benefit from them. You can read all about Woody’s Foundation on his website at http://www.woodyfoundation.org.

Back to my story.

The thought really never crossed my mind that I would actually meet Woody, but when I started my outpatient therapy at Miami PT, I finally met him. I expected someone much older, not someone in his early 20’s. I know when I was in my early 20’s, being altruistic and giving back was not at the top of my list back then. I also thought how when I was a year into my injury, helping others was not even remotely a priority for me. I was consumed with dealing and adjusting to this life changing and catastrophic injury. I had a hard enough time being me. When I see Woody, I’m amazed at what he does and what he has accomplished so early on in his injury and life…starting a foundation, going to college, boating, you name it. I had a hard time going ANYWHERE and doing anything, and I still do, to a certain extent. Call me selfish, but I’m still a bit consumed by myself trying to figure out all this paralyzed BS.

How you can help.

The bootcamp is on August 2nd at a place called The Fitness Factory in Rotterdam, NY. A Facebook event was created that explains everything:
https://www.facebook.com/events/1019035101459474/
The trainer and the facility will be donating their time, and rather than people paying a fee for the bootcamp, they are asking for anyone participating to make a donation to The Woody Foundation instead. Joani’s goal is to raise $6000. Now, I’m pretty sure that most of you will not be able to attend the bootcamp, but you can still help us meet this aggressive goal. Donations can be made online directly to The Woody Foundation’s website. Here’s the link:

http://www.woodyfoundation.org/event/joanis-birthday-bootcamp-fundraiser/

When you click this link, scroll down and click the “donate” button.  A generic PayPal page will come that will say “The Woody Foundation” at the top.  You are in the right place.  Log in to your PayPal account and follow the directions from there. If you don’t have a PayPal account, there is a link at the bottom of the PayPal page that will instruct you what to. There is not a section that you can make a note about the donation being in my name, but The Foundation rarely gets online donations, so they will know what the donations are for.  Lucy Foerster, the Executive Director of the Foundation is keeping track of the donations and posting goal updates on https://www.facebook.com/events/1019035101459474/

Please join me in making a donation to The Woody Foundation and this great cause. The foundation is a 501(c)(3) not for profit organization, therefore, your donations are tax-deductible. You will receive a tax-deduction receipt upon completing your donation online via Paypal (using the link above). You can also send a check to the below address payable to the Woody Foundation, Inc.

Woody Foundation, Inc.
12500 Virtudes Street
Coral Gables, Florida 33156

Together, I know we can make a difference for individuals and families dealing with SCI!

Joani and I March 2014

Joani and I March 2014


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Keeping Up With Mary Vaccaro

I’ve decided to post some random pictures and a few videos that were taken over the last few months. For those of you that follow me on Instagram, this may be a bit redundant. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I have several entries written but always seem to change my mind prior to posting them because my mood changes. Go figure. I’ll post something new soon.

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Well overdue new hair from Oribe Salon. It’s been a year since color and scissors have touched my head.

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Happy hour at the Setai lounge. My friend Lisa Lambert was in town.

Beach wheelchair. Monster tires.

Beach wheelchair. Monster tires.

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My visit with Brian and Maria.

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Paparazzi at the beach stalking some Argentinian super model who is staying here. Lisa and I thought they were here for us…we’re famous in our own way.

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My visit with Harald and Marlene.

At the Miami Project getting hooked up to electrodes. I was there for a study. I was basically a lab rat.

At the Miami Project getting hooked up to electrodes. I was a lab rat for a study on hand movement in people with SCI.

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2 on 1 at Oribe

At the beach with Harald, my crazy Austrian friend.

At the beach with Harald, my crazy Austrian friend.

Barb's visit. Really nice to see her.

Barb’s visit. Really nice to see her. I put a little artsy filter on this pic.

Stage 1 of the hair.

Stage 1 of the hair.

Wonderful surprise from old friend Jenni Pekar. The card was filled with words of inspiration from her coworkers at the Bliss spa.

Wonderful surprise from old friend Jenni Pekar. The card was filled with words of inspiration from her coworkers at the Bliss spa.

The vans that take me to therapy are made in Akron. WTF...very  bizarre.

The vans that take me to therapy are made in Akron. There are hundreds of them around Miami. WTF…very bizarre.

My boys from work came to see me. So great to catch up. Lots of laughs as usual.

My boys from work (Sandridge) came to see me. So great to catch up. Lots of laughs as usual.

Geno and I. My brother from a different mother.

Me and Geno… my brother from a different mother.

Me, Ross and Andrea at Smith and Wollensky.

Me, Ross and Andrea at Smith and Wollensky.

Below are a few videos for your viewing pleasure. The first three show me using the ReWalk. It’s an exoskeleton that brings me to a standing position and initializes steps. It’s really meant for paraplegics that have trunk control and way more function than me. I actually worked many hours on exercises to increase my stamina and strength in the few trunk muscles that I’ve regained. This may look easy to you, but in fact it kicks my ass. Making 2 laps through the gym wipes me out. There’s a home version of this unit that’s sold in Europe. Paraplegics can put on the “suit” and go to work, take walks etc. Currently, in the US, the FDA has only approved this for clinical use. Apparently the home version is awaiting approval here.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=c4-feed-u&v=ZwMvRBsU2OA

The last video is me at Hyde bar at the SLS hotel in South Beach. Ross surprised me one Saturday and rented a cabana poolside for the day. Our friends Bill and Lyndsey came from Fort Lauderdale to hang with us. SLS has a pool party every Saturday and Sunday. The weather was ideal and the average age was 22. It was a lot of fun people watching. Ross definitely spoils me!


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I Stand Corrected

It’s been quite some time since I posted anything. I have had several posts started, but in the midst of each, I always seem to get stricken with a severe case of writer’s block. I’ve been getting several messages wanting to know if there has been any progress with me. I am continually making progress because of all the work that I put into my therapy. I expect it. It’s the breakthroughs that I’m waiting for. If progress isn’t being made, It’s really simple, I’m not working hard enough. I’m hoping that with every new thing that I do in therapy, I’ll get a small step closer to muscle movement, something that I want and need desperately.

I will do just about anything in therapy. I constantly make the joke to Carla my therapist, that I feel like a trained dolphin; she tells me what to do and I do it. Hold the ring up and I’ll jump through it. I really will attempt just about anything in therapy. To me, nothing is beyond the realm of possible, which brings me to my latest endeavor…standing outside of the standing frame. I have posted pictures previously of balancing myself hands-free while in the standing frame. This was quite the accomplishment, but now it’s time to raise the bar so to speak, and make use of the parallel bars. Carla is always trying to think of new challenges and approached me about attempting this a little over a month ago, and I was all for it. Basically, I start in a sitting position with a gait belt on and push myself up to a standing position while Carla sits in front of me and locks my knees out. The first few times that I did this, it seemed incredibly difficult and required an immense amount of energy from me. I really only could last for a short amount of time. I also required a significant amount of help to push myself up to standing. It progressively became easier, and today was the best day ever. The next step would be to have braces made for my legs. With the braces, I would be able to take actual steps. We are investigating this. Custom braces are shockingly expensive, so we are looking into the feasibility of it all.

I’ve posted a couple of photos, and a video below from the parallel bars. By the way, the bulky white thing around my waist is the gait belt…not the most fashionable accessory but very necessary for safety. I was actually able to stand without significant assistance from Carla and Omar today. All I need are my muscles to kick in, and I’ll be golden.

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The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. ~Vidal Sassoon

I asked my Miami PT therapist, Carla Ruhl, to write something about the various activities that I’m doing at therapy and the strides that I’ve made. It’s interesting to see my progress through someone else’s eyes, especially someone who knows the technical aspects of what my level of injury will yield. I’m my worst critic. I’ve always been, and I get disappointed about my therapy successes when I should be celebrating them. I know that I need to be more positive about how far I have come considering the catastrophic injury that I had, but that’s easier said than done. June 11th will be my one year anniversary for my injury. If you had asked me when I was in the hospital what I would be like June 11th 2013, I would’ve told you I would be walking and back to work. I know that my expectations were probably not reasonable, but I might not have gotten to where I’m at today if I didn’t shoot really high. After reading Carla’s note that she sent me for the blog, I’ve realized that I truly have done some incredible things, and I need to give myself more credit…

These are Carla’s words:

When Mary asked me to write something about her so that she could put it her blog, I wasn’t surprised. From the first sessions that we worked together, I knew she’d be different.

She’s the type of person….type of patient that inspires you…pushes you. She’s sassy and remarkable in many ways. I could see from our evaluation that she already had a particular presentation allowing her to feel below her level of spinal cord injury (very lucky). Considering the extent of her injury I knew what expectations I had for her. But she’s accomplished those and more. She also has this attitude…knowing what she wants….not taking no for an answer.

In 25 years as a physical therapist I have had the experience to work with and know several “SUPER quads”. Can there be something such as a SUPER SUPER QUAD ?. It’s not really tangible…she’s just doing things that are amazing….activities that have me asking “where is that coming from because I wouldn’t expect that from my muscle testing scores ? ”. With each new challenge I give her, she says “lets do it”….she wants to perfect her movements, her new exercises. As you’ve seen in the pictures and videos she’s moving throughout what therapists call the neurodevelopmental sequence (in simple terms, they are the movements that helped us as children develop strength, stability and mobilty….movements that trained us to move from laying on our backs to our tummies to crawling and in time, walking). I hope that this will be the case but…I can only say that we need more (it’s so redundant isn’t it ?…always wanting more). More function, I mean, in the legs to accomplish this full neurodevelopmental sequence but for now…..Mary’s abilities are AMAZING ! She has developed postural strength, balance and function that considering her level of spinal cord injury surpasses our expectations.

We will continue to work…continue to work on sit to stand transitions (who knew ?)…standing balance (WOW!). I look forward to our intensive 4 hour sessions…her desire to work hard… her willingness to push the envelope inspires me…inspires those around her. As I have read in her blogs and have had the honor of meeting her friends and family, I have come to understand that she has always been this intensely charged woman. Thank you Mary.


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“Fitness, if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body.” – Cher

It’s been a while since I have posted a blog update. I really need to be more disciplined with my writing because I actually have a lot to say.

I frequently get asked about what I do at therapy, so I thought a play by play should be in order.

First of all, I have to say, I love therapy. Prior to this accident, I was in the gym religiously 3-4 times per week, but I can honestly admit, I never truly loved working out. I’m quite sure there are more people than not who share this same sentiment. I think most people are lying when they say they do. These are the people who have all of the latest workout gear, but you’ll find them standing on the treadmill talking about how much they go to the gym. They move their mouths more than they move their bodies. I never understood how people became addicted to working out. After 15+ years in the gym, I’m still waiting on that runners high everyone talks about. Truthfully, my only driving force that kept my weekly schedule was the fear of getting fat, because I love to eat and I love couture. Lanvin has not launched a plus size line yet, and I don’t like to throw up, so going to the gym was the next best option. I know my trainers at the Yellow Creek gym are reading this, so I guess the cat’s out of the bag. Lynn and Cody, both of you made my workouts fun and tolerable!

This is why I find it oddly surprising that I love therapy. What I do at therapy is 20 times harder than the most intense workout that I’ve done in the past, but I still like it. Maybe it’s the challenge that drives me, but truthfully, at the end of the day, my priorities are a little different now. I still have a fear of getting fat, and I’m still obsessed with runway fashion, but the fear of never walking again and being faced with being dependent for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me (and couture clothing never looks good while seated either).

I have been attending Miami Physical Therapy (in Coconut Grove) since September of last year. I feel comfortable and at home there, which I think is a particularly valuable factor in any recovery. The entire staff is not only positive, supportive and knows their shit, the Cuban coffee that they make there is delicious. I’m addicted to it and usually start bothering Omar, the Cuban coffee making PT attendant, to make some as soon as I get there.i think he gets a little annoyed with me because I really do nag him until he makes it. All of the attendants are PT students. I really enjoy having them around to shoot the shirt with.

If I had the stamina I would go to therapy Monday through Friday, but my body definitely needs some recovery time. As it is, I’m there 3x per week, and have increased my sessions from 3 hours to 4 hours per day, which is extremely aggressive. I’ll get home around 6pm and will literally pass out. What I was able to do prior to September 2012 and what I can do now is undeniably night and day. Back then, I thought I was a bad ass at Jackson rehab when I was on NBC Miami news for the most pull-ups completed during the Jackson Memorial Olympics. That seems so long ago.

Today, Carla, my therapist, has presented me with new challenges that I hope gets me just a little bit closer to regaining what I have lost. I have wrote in the past about the stim bike and the standing frame, which are still an integral part of my therapy repertoire. In addition to those, I am doing something new and exciting. See the video below. I started doing this a few weeks ago, and the video is already obsolete. I can actually get up on all 4s with little or no assistance. This is quite an accomplishment since most of my core is still paralyzed.

The main reason I was able to progress to an advanced activity like this is because I regained a small amount of my core back. This includes obliques, flickers of the upper part of my rectus abdominis and a muscle in my back called the erector spinae. What is important to note about these muscles is that they correspond to the spinal nerves that are below my level of injury. My injury was at the cervical region (C6/C7) and these new flickers of muscle movement correspond to the thoracic region of my spine, meaning that there is some communication occurring down my spinal cord. Below is a good chart that shows the spinal nerves and corresponding muscles.

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This is exciting but still not enough for me. I want tangible movement that I can see, which is why I go at so hard at therapy. I have no choice…

Me quadruped holding myself up

Me quadruped holding myself up

Sit to stand-holding myself up

Sit to stand-holding myself up

Sit to stand

Sit to stand

Sit to stand-holding myself up. Perfect posture.

Sit to stand-holding myself up. Perfect posture.

Does This Wheelchair Make Me Look Fat?

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Ross Marchetta and Mary Vaccaro

Ross and I on the red carpet

Lately I’m finding it a bit difficult to write about new things in my life when everything has been pretty much the same for a while now…terribly uneventful. Go to therapy, come home, repeat. I do however, want to talk about my first official outing in November where I actually had real clothes on that did not have an elastic waist or an Adidas logo. I also had my hair and makeup done by a professional. It was the first time in months that I felt semi-normal. The event was called “Destination Fashion”. It was an event for The Buoniconti Fund to Cure Paralysis, which is the fundraising arm of The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis. The Miami Project is the main reason why I am down here. Just to give you a little background, In 1985, Barth Green M.D. (my doctor) and NFL Hall of Fame linebacker Nick Buoniconti helped found The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis after Nick’s son, Marc, sustained a spinal cord injury during a college football game. Today, The Miami Project is the world’s most comprehensive spinal cord injury research center with 250 scientists, researchers and clinicians who take innovative approaches to the challenge of spinal cord injury. Because of their work and the dedication, in July of 2012, the FDA approved human clinical trials that involves the testing of Schwann cell transplants in humans with acute and chronic SCI. This is very exciting news. Hopefully I can be a part of this in the near future. I don’t want to bore you with details. You can learn more about it if you click on this link: http://www.themiamiproject.org/page.aspx?pid=339

Me after my makeover with Sydney

Me after my makeover with Sydney

Anyway, back to Destination Fashion. More than 2000 guests attended the event that was held at Miami’s Bal Harbour Shops. The night featured an exclusive presentation of Emilio Pucci’s Spring 2013 line designed by Peter Dundas. The collection came straight from Milan fashion week and had never touched American soil. Following the fashion show and sit-down dinner, there was an interactive destination party experience and private concert by Enrique Iglesias. The concert was amazing. Tom Brokaw hosted the evening, and was chaired by actor Tommy Lee Jones and the extremely hot international polo sensation and face of Ralph Lauren’s Black Label, Ignacio “Nacho” Figueras. There were a bunch of other celebs there to, but really, Nacho is all I cared about. Total eye candy. I have been to many charity events in my life, but nothing like this.The execution was flawless, the tablescapes were stunning and the food was really good. The filet that was served wasn’t the typical overcooked prison grade meat served at many of the events that I have attended in the past. There was also a beautiful antipasto which had the dual purpose of the first course and also as part of the centerpiece. The runway for the Pucci fashion show was set up like a maze all throughout the dining area. We were practically sitting on the runway and could almost touch the pale and anorexic models, that’s how close we were. Many of the stores in the Bal Harbour Shops generously donated luxury items for the silent auction. There were no Akron Aeros tickets or hot air balloon rides at this auction. Items like a Cartier watch, a one of a kind Fendi bag and a trip to Tuscany were up for auction to the highest bidder. The event raised a staggering $31 million for The Miami Project, partly as the result of an especially benevolent and kind donor who made a huge announcement that night. Christine E. Lynn announced a gift of $25 million that would go to build a state-of-the-art spinal cord injury surgical suites, surgical intensive care units and rehabilitation center. The announcement was truly a shock to the crowd. This same women donated $10 million to The Miami Project last year. My God, how much money does this women have? I googled her the next day and her name is prominently displayed on several buildings and wings. You have to have some major dough to have a building named after you. This women has it.

The shoes

The shoes

This event was really the first time that I had been outside the 1000 feet radius of the Continuum property since I got out of the hospital. I had finally taken myself out of the mental house arrest that I had created for myself and became part of the living…at least for one night. As soon as Ross told me about the event and that he wanted to support it, the pressure was on to find something to wear that would not make me look like a cow on wheels. I quickly discovered that clothes are not designed for the seated. I had a few things sent from home and after trying them on, found that they that looked absolutely hideous on me while seated in the chair. I had such a great wardrobe at home…kiss that goodbye. This was definitely going to be a challenge for me. After several trial and errors, I found the perfect dress. I had my killer YSL platforms sent from home to finish the outfit. I bought these shoes two months prior to the accident and only wore them once. I was always afraid of scuffing them or scratching the gold on the front of the shoe. I find it completely ironic that now I no longer have to worry about ruining a great pair of shoes because they will always stay looking brand new.

Peter and I | Us with Emilio Estefan | Me, Ross and Dr. Green

There was a tremendous amount of preplanning for me to do in order to execute a perfect look for the event. Being a quad in a chair poses many difficulties with fashion and many other things that I won’t go into right now. I had the whole cathe thing to deal with that night. Since I had to get cathed at 8 pm I had to take one of my caretakers with me. Most people slip off to the restroom, I had to roll off to the limo. I got a professional makeup artist that does runway, print and celebs. He also styles hair. I desperately needed someone to help me look good cuz I was a mess. The man for this big job was named Sidney Jamila…I call him simply, my savior. He is also absolutely adorable, so incredibly kind and extremely talented. During our pre-meeting to discuss the look that I was going for, I had to open up the conversation to exactly what celebrities he’s worked with. Inquiring minds wanted to know. When the name “Lenny Kravitz” came up, I froze. Could someone who has touched the face and hair of Lenny be touching mine? This really is six degrees of separation. My friend Lisa and I worshipped that man years ago. I still have a Lenny playlist on my iPod. I love his music. Back then, it was so upsetting when he started to date and then go on to marry Lisa Bonet. Bitch (just kidding). Of course I started gushing to Sydney about Lenny like some of my friends’ young children talk about Justin Bieber. Lenny was my Justin, just way cooler with a much better voice, more talented and who doesn’t wear meggings (male leggings). Justin Bieber always has those stupid “I Dream of Jeanie” pants on. It’s completely ridiculousness and they should be burned, every single pair of them because I’m quite certain he has multiple pairs. Selena Gomez should be embarrassed. Ok, I digress. I’m not 12. Back to this 44 year old’s story. Sydney arrived with an assistant on the day of the event and brought enough makeup for this beauty junkie to be high. We totally hit it off, talking about our favorite beauty brands, new makeup techniques, Sephora etc. He wanted to set up shop in the living room because of the lighting situation, so I didn’t have the luxury of having a full mirror in front of me to soak up the techniques of the master. It absolutely drove me crazy not to be able to see what he was doing. Then, somewhere between the primer and concealer, he told me that just the day before he styled Lenny for some sort of Oprah life course BS show…and that Sydney mentioned me to him. I almost fell out of my wheelchair. The name Mary Vaccaro graced the eardrums of Lenny Kravitz. OMG…

The evening was a blast. Lots of great memories. I had such a great time time with Ross and our friends that came to Miami just for this. It was, however, incredibly strange and uncomfortable to be in a massive crowd when you are the only person sitting down. Going through the crowds of people felt at first like salmon upstream, but quickly turned into Moses parting the Red Sea. People tend to go out of there way to make room for a person in a wheelchair. When they don’t realize that you are trying to get through and someone has to tap them on the shoulder to tell them to move they become so apologetic that it is borderline uncomfortable. That sort of situation reminded me of the hilarious episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David starts dating woman in wheelchairs mostly out of guilt, but realizes he gets to take advantage of some of the perks (if that’s what you want to call them). It’s from Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 7, Ep. 5 called “Denise Handicap”. I know most people would find this offensive. I thought it was completely hilarious. It’s worth a watch. Poking fun at this horrible situation that I’m in is one of the key coping mechanisms that I have. Isn’t laughter supposed to be the best medicine?