Eyes Wide Open

A Perspective From Within


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I Stand Corrected

It’s been quite some time since I posted anything. I have had several posts started, but in the midst of each, I always seem to get stricken with a severe case of writer’s block. I’ve been getting several messages wanting to know if there has been any progress with me. I am continually making progress because of all the work that I put into my therapy. I expect it. It’s the breakthroughs that I’m waiting for. If progress isn’t being made, It’s really simple, I’m not working hard enough. I’m hoping that with every new thing that I do in therapy, I’ll get a small step closer to muscle movement, something that I want and need desperately.

I will do just about anything in therapy. I constantly make the joke to Carla my therapist, that I feel like a trained dolphin; she tells me what to do and I do it. Hold the ring up and I’ll jump through it. I really will attempt just about anything in therapy. To me, nothing is beyond the realm of possible, which brings me to my latest endeavor…standing outside of the standing frame. I have posted pictures previously of balancing myself hands-free while in the standing frame. This was quite the accomplishment, but now it’s time to raise the bar so to speak, and make use of the parallel bars. Carla is always trying to think of new challenges and approached me about attempting this a little over a month ago, and I was all for it. Basically, I start in a sitting position with a gait belt on and push myself up to a standing position while Carla sits in front of me and locks my knees out. The first few times that I did this, it seemed incredibly difficult and required an immense amount of energy from me. I really only could last for a short amount of time. I also required a significant amount of help to push myself up to standing. It progressively became easier, and today was the best day ever. The next step would be to have braces made for my legs. With the braces, I would be able to take actual steps. We are investigating this. Custom braces are shockingly expensive, so we are looking into the feasibility of it all.

I’ve posted a couple of photos, and a video below from the parallel bars. By the way, the bulky white thing around my waist is the gait belt…not the most fashionable accessory but very necessary for safety. I was actually able to stand without significant assistance from Carla and Omar today. All I need are my muscles to kick in, and I’ll be golden.

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The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. ~Vidal Sassoon

I asked my Miami PT therapist, Carla Ruhl, to write something about the various activities that I’m doing at therapy and the strides that I’ve made. It’s interesting to see my progress through someone else’s eyes, especially someone who knows the technical aspects of what my level of injury will yield. I’m my worst critic. I’ve always been, and I get disappointed about my therapy successes when I should be celebrating them. I know that I need to be more positive about how far I have come considering the catastrophic injury that I had, but that’s easier said than done. June 11th will be my one year anniversary for my injury. If you had asked me when I was in the hospital what I would be like June 11th 2013, I would’ve told you I would be walking and back to work. I know that my expectations were probably not reasonable, but I might not have gotten to where I’m at today if I didn’t shoot really high. After reading Carla’s note that she sent me for the blog, I’ve realized that I truly have done some incredible things, and I need to give myself more credit…

These are Carla’s words:

When Mary asked me to write something about her so that she could put it her blog, I wasn’t surprised. From the first sessions that we worked together, I knew she’d be different.

She’s the type of person….type of patient that inspires you…pushes you. She’s sassy and remarkable in many ways. I could see from our evaluation that she already had a particular presentation allowing her to feel below her level of spinal cord injury (very lucky). Considering the extent of her injury I knew what expectations I had for her. But she’s accomplished those and more. She also has this attitude…knowing what she wants….not taking no for an answer.

In 25 years as a physical therapist I have had the experience to work with and know several “SUPER quads”. Can there be something such as a SUPER SUPER QUAD ?. It’s not really tangible…she’s just doing things that are amazing….activities that have me asking “where is that coming from because I wouldn’t expect that from my muscle testing scores ? ”. With each new challenge I give her, she says “lets do it”….she wants to perfect her movements, her new exercises. As you’ve seen in the pictures and videos she’s moving throughout what therapists call the neurodevelopmental sequence (in simple terms, they are the movements that helped us as children develop strength, stability and mobilty….movements that trained us to move from laying on our backs to our tummies to crawling and in time, walking). I hope that this will be the case but…I can only say that we need more (it’s so redundant isn’t it ?…always wanting more). More function, I mean, in the legs to accomplish this full neurodevelopmental sequence but for now…..Mary’s abilities are AMAZING ! She has developed postural strength, balance and function that considering her level of spinal cord injury surpasses our expectations.

We will continue to work…continue to work on sit to stand transitions (who knew ?)…standing balance (WOW!). I look forward to our intensive 4 hour sessions…her desire to work hard… her willingness to push the envelope inspires me…inspires those around her. As I have read in her blogs and have had the honor of meeting her friends and family, I have come to understand that she has always been this intensely charged woman. Thank you Mary.